Sunday, April 3, 2011

Conference and Parallels

There was a talk about the difference between what we DO and what we ARE. (To be, or not to be...). GREAT talk. It got me thinking about how we try to change unhealthy habits.

It's not enough to DO the right things, as all last year's contests have clearly taught me. I didn't BE somebody different underneath, so the minute the contest was over, I went back to unhealthy habits. Not all of them, thankfully, but GOOD NIGHT. I have never fought my crazy drunken Swedish genes more than this past winter. I really need to ponder the connection between DOING and BEING when it comes to healthy eating. I want to DO these healthy habits enough that I BECOME someone who doesn't want to DO it the way I am right now.

That's why I decided to just jump back into this, by myself, with no one to account to, but myself. I can't super-impose all this outer structure onto this project, only to find that the minute that structure is gone, I fall back to my old ways. Even as I type this, that makes me sick: what am I, four? Oprah Winfrey said something to this effect: Integrity is doing the right thing, even when you know that no one is ever going to know. I want these habits to be an integral part of my BEING, so they don't go away when no one is looking! Which, sadly, could mean that I will be at this for ANOTHER six years.

I started, six and a half years ago, working on weight management in earnest. In 2004, I weighed 30 pounds more than I do right now. Sadly, though, I weigh nearly 15 pounds more than I did last summer. And here's the stupid thing: I kept most of that off over the holidays! It's been January and February that really did me in. (remember the crazy drunken Swedish genes? Yeah, that. If I were in Sweden 400 years ago, I would have been drunk in a corner, sleeping till spring. Instead, and thanks to the gospel, I'm EATING and sleeping in the corner till spring) Pretty good weekend with my free meals today (only 2 - had a fabulously healthy breakfast).

When it comes to weight management, DOING is extremely important, but you need to DO until you BE......different......inside. Here's to it.

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